Introduction
Umm Sulaym was an early convert to Islam among the Ansar of Medina, from the Banu Najjar clan of Khazraj. She was the mother of Anas ibn Malik, who served the Prophet for ten years, and later the wife of Abu Talha.
When Abu Talha proposed to her while he was still a polytheist, she refused him on the ground that she could not marry a disbeliever and told him that if he accepted Islam, that would be her dowry. He became Muslim, and one narrator, Thabit, said he had never heard of a dowry more precious than hers.
She was close to the Prophet's household, hosted him at her home, gave him food, and joined the army to bring water and treat the wounded. The hadith shows her remarkable composure at the death of her child, her openness in asking about religion, and her eagerness to raise Anas to serve the Prophet.
The story
Early Medina period
Accepted Islam before her first husband, who left for Syria, and later married Abu Talha when he accepted Islam, with Islam as her dowry.
Read the wording
Sunan an-Nasa'i 3341Sahih Arabic text
… سُلَيْمٍ فَقَالَتْ وَاللَّهِ مَا مِثْلُكَ يَا أَبَا طَلْحَةَ يُرَدُّ وَلَكِنَّكَ رَجُلٌ كَافِرٌ وَأَنَا امْرَأَةٌ مُسْلِمَةٌ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِي أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَكَ فَإِنْ تُسْلِمْ فَذَاكَ مَهْرِي وَمَا أَسْأَلُكَ غَيْرَهُ. فَأَسْلَمَ فَكَانَ ذَلِكَ مَهْرَهَا - قَالَ ثَابِتٌ فَمَا سَمِعْتُ بِامْرَأَةٍ قَطُّ كَانَتْ أَكْرَمَ مَهْرًا مِنْ أُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ الإِسْلاَمَ - فَدَخَلَ بِهَا فَوَلَدَتْ …
“If you become Muslim, that will be my dowry”
625 CE / 3 AH
Carried water to the Muslims on the day of Uhud.
Read the wording
Sahih al-Bukhari 2880Sahih Arabic text
… النَّاسُ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ وَلَقَدْ رَأَيْتُ عَائِشَةَ بِنْتَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَأُمَّ سُلَيْمٍ وَإِنَّهُمَا لَمُشَمِّرَتَانِ أَرَى خَدَمَ سُوقِهِمَا، تَنْقُزَانِ الْقِرَبَ ـ وَقَالَ غَيْرُهُ تَنْقُلاَنِ الْقِرَبَ ـ عَلَى مُتُونِهِمَا، ثُمَّ تُفْرِغَانِهِ فِي أَفْوَاهِ الْقَوْمِ، ثُمَّ تَرْجِعَانِ فَتَمْلآنِهَا، ثُمَّ تَجِيئَانِ فَتُفْرِغَانِهَا فِي أَفْوَاهِ …
“Aisha bint Abu Bakr and Um Sulaim”
After Uhud
Accompanied the army to bring water and treat the wounded in the Prophet's expeditions.
Read the wording
Sahih Muslim 1810Sahih Arabic text
قَالَ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَغْزُو بِأُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ وَنِسْوَةٍ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ مَعَهُ إِذَا غَزَا فَيَسْقِينَ الْمَاءَ وَيُدَاوِينَ الْجَرْحَى.
“allowed Umm Sulaim and some other women of the Ansar to accompany him when he went to war”
c. 650 CE
Died in the time of Uthman (c. 28 AH, approx.).
A day in their footsteps
6 small, repeatable practices from Umm Sulaym bint Milhan's life. Each comes with the Arabic text and English wording of its source, and links to read the full report.
Patience at the death of a child
When her young son died while Abu Talha was away, Umm Sulaym answered that he was quieter than ever, served him supper for her husband, and only afterwards gently told him to bury the child. The Prophet prayed for blessing on their night, and she later bore another son.
Try this today
Be steady in loss and think of the other person's state before announcing painful news.
Sit with this
When you carry painful news, do you think first of the other person's state?
Source
Sahih al-Bukhari 5470Sahih … أَبُو طَلْحَةَ قَالَ مَا فَعَلَ ابْنِي قَالَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ هُوَ أَسْكَنُ مَا كَانَ. فَقَرَّبَتْ إِلَيْهِ الْعَشَاءَ فَتَعَشَّى، ثُمَّ أَصَابَ مِنْهَا، فَلَمَّا فَرَغَ قَالَتْ وَارِ الصَّبِيَّ. فَلَمَّا أَصْبَحَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ أَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَأَخْبَرَهُ فَقَالَ" أَعْرَسْتُمُ اللَّيْلَةَ". قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ" اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَهُمَا". فَوَلَدَتْ غُلاَمًا …
“He is quieter than he has ever been”
Hospitality in need
When Abu Talha noticed the Prophet's hunger, Umm Sulaym sent the little barley bread she had with Anas, even though they had little at home. The Prophet came with a crowd and the small food was enough for everyone.
Try this today
Give what you have to the Prophet's cause, and trust Allah to make it enough.
Sit with this
Could you give the little you have, trusting Allah to make it enough?
Source
Sahih al-Bukhari 3578Sahih … فَقَالَتِ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَعْلَمُ. فَانْطَلَقَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ حَتَّى لَقِيَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَأَقْبَلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَبُو طَلْحَةَ مَعَهُ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم" هَلُمِّي يَا أُمَّ سُلَيْمٍ مَا عِنْدَكِ". فَأَتَتْ بِذَلِكَ الْخُبْزِ، فَأَمَرَ بِهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَفُتَّ، وَعَصَرَتْ أُمُّ …
“Allah and His Apostle know better”
Asking about religion without shyness
Umm Sulaym came to the Prophet and said that Allah is not shy of the truth, then asked whether a woman has to bathe after a wet dream. The Prophet answered clearly. She modelled asking for knowledge directly.
Try this today
Do not let embarrassment stop you from asking what you need to know about your religion.
Sit with this
What do you need to know about your religion that embarrassment keeps you from asking?
Source
Sahih al-Bukhari 130Sahih قَالَتْ جَاءَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْحَقِّ، فَهَلْ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ مِنْ غُسْلٍ إِذَا احْتَلَمَتْ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم" إِذَا رَأَتِ الْمَاءَ". فَغَطَّتْ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ ـ تَعْنِي وَجْهَهَا ـ وَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَتَحْتَلِمُ الْمَرْأَةُ قَالَ" نَعَمْ تَرِبَتْ يَمِينُكِ …
“Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth”
Offering her son in service of the Prophet
She brought Anas to the Prophet and said that he is his servant, asking him to pray for him. The Prophet prayed for increased wealth and children and blessing in what Allah gives him.
Try this today
Dedicate your children's best years to something worthwhile and ask for du'a for them.
Sit with this
Whom could you ask to make du'a for your children?
Source
Sahih al-Bukhari 6334Sahih قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَنَسًا، قَالَ قَالَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنَسٌ خَادِمُكَ. قَالَ " اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ، وَبَارِكْ لَهُ فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَهُ".
“Anas is your servant”
Taking part in the community's struggle
Umm Sulaym was among those who carried water skins to the Muslims on the day Uhud turned hard, and later accompanied the army to give water and treat the wounded.
Try this today
Help where you can, whether with food, water or care.
Sit with this
Where could you bring water, food or care to people under strain?
Sources
Sahih al-Bukhari 2880Sahih … النَّاسُ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ وَلَقَدْ رَأَيْتُ عَائِشَةَ بِنْتَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَأُمَّ سُلَيْمٍ وَإِنَّهُمَا لَمُشَمِّرَتَانِ أَرَى خَدَمَ سُوقِهِمَا، تَنْقُزَانِ الْقِرَبَ ـ وَقَالَ غَيْرُهُ تَنْقُلاَنِ الْقِرَبَ ـ عَلَى مُتُونِهِمَا، ثُمَّ تُفْرِغَانِهِ فِي أَفْوَاهِ الْقَوْمِ، ثُمَّ تَرْجِعَانِ فَتَمْلآنِهَا، ثُمَّ تَجِيئَانِ فَتُفْرِغَانِهَا فِي أَفْوَاهِ …
“hurrying with their water skins”
Sahih Muslim 1810Sahih قَالَ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَغْزُو بِأُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ وَنِسْوَةٍ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ مَعَهُ إِذَا غَزَا فَيَسْقِينَ الْمَاءَ وَيُدَاوِينَ الْجَرْحَى.
“they would give water (to the soldiers) and would treat the wounded”
Not wailing over the dead
She was among the five women who kept the pledge not to wail over the dead, which was part of the oath the women gave to the Prophet.
Try this today
Grieve with tears but not with despair.
Sit with this
Can you grieve with tears but without despair?
Source
Sahih al-Bukhari 1306Sahih قَالَتْ أَخَذَ عَلَيْنَا النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم عِنْدَ الْبَيْعَةِ أَنْ لاَ نَنُوحَ، فَمَا وَفَتْ مِنَّا امْرَأَةٌ غَيْرَ خَمْسِ نِسْوَةٍ أُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ وَأُمِّ الْعَلاَءِ وَابْنَةِ أَبِي سَبْرَةَ امْرَأَةِ مُعَاذٍ وَامْرَأَتَيْنِ أَوِ ابْنَةِ أَبِي سَبْرَةَ وَامْرَأَةِ مُعَاذٍ وَامْرَأَةٍ أُخْرَى.
“we would not wail”
Virtues
Abu Talha's acceptance of Islam in place of a dowry was described as the most precious dowry anyone had heard of.
“I have never heard of a woman whose dowry was more precious than Umm Sulaim”
Arabic text
… سُلَيْمٍ فَقَالَتْ وَاللَّهِ مَا مِثْلُكَ يَا أَبَا طَلْحَةَ يُرَدُّ وَلَكِنَّكَ رَجُلٌ كَافِرٌ وَأَنَا امْرَأَةٌ مُسْلِمَةٌ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِي أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَكَ فَإِنْ تُسْلِمْ فَذَاكَ مَهْرِي وَمَا أَسْأَلُكَ غَيْرَهُ. فَأَسْلَمَ فَكَانَ ذَلِكَ مَهْرَهَا - قَالَ ثَابِتٌ فَمَا سَمِعْتُ بِامْرَأَةٍ قَطُّ كَانَتْ أَكْرَمَ مَهْرًا مِنْ أُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ الإِسْلاَمَ - فَدَخَلَ بِهَا فَوَلَدَتْ …
Sunan an-Nasa'i 3341Sahih
The Prophet used to visit her home and said he had compassion for her because her brother had been killed in his company.
“I take pity on her as her brother was killed in my company”
Arabic text
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم لَمْ يَكُنْ يَدْخُلُ بَيْتًا بِالْمَدِينَةِ غَيْرَ بَيْتِ أُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ، إِلاَّ عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِ فَقِيلَ لَهُ، فَقَالَ " إِنِّي أَرْحَمُهَا، قُتِلَ أَخُوهَا مَعِي".
Sahih al-Bukhari 2844Sahih
He prayed in her house, with Anas and an orphan standing behind him and Umm Sulaym behind them.
“my mother (Um Sulaim) was standing behind us”
Arabic text
قَالَ صَلَّيْتُ أَنَا وَيَتِيمٌ، فِي بَيْتِنَا خَلْفَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأُمِّي أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ خَلْفَنَا.
Sahih al-Bukhari 727Sahih
Sayings and moments
To Abu Talha: if you become Muslim, that will be my dowry, and I will not ask you for anything else.
“I will not ask you for anything else”
Arabic text
… سُلَيْمٍ فَقَالَتْ وَاللَّهِ مَا مِثْلُكَ يَا أَبَا طَلْحَةَ يُرَدُّ وَلَكِنَّكَ رَجُلٌ كَافِرٌ وَأَنَا امْرَأَةٌ مُسْلِمَةٌ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِي أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَكَ فَإِنْ تُسْلِمْ فَذَاكَ مَهْرِي وَمَا أَسْأَلُكَ غَيْرَهُ. فَأَسْلَمَ فَكَانَ ذَلِكَ مَهْرَهَا - قَالَ ثَابِتٌ فَمَا سَمِعْتُ بِامْرَأَةٍ قَطُّ كَانَتْ أَكْرَمَ مَهْرًا مِنْ أُمِّ سُلَيْمٍ الإِسْلاَمَ - فَدَخَلَ بِهَا فَوَلَدَتْ …
Sunan an-Nasa'i 3341Sahih
To the Prophet: Allah is not shy of the truth.
“Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth”
Arabic text
قَالَتْ جَاءَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْحَقِّ، فَهَلْ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ مِنْ غُسْلٍ إِذَا احْتَلَمَتْ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم" إِذَا رَأَتِ الْمَاءَ". فَغَطَّتْ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ ـ تَعْنِي وَجْهَهَا ـ وَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَتَحْتَلِمُ الْمَرْأَةُ قَالَ" نَعَمْ تَرِبَتْ يَمِينُكِ …
Sahih al-Bukhari 130Sahih
Words on this page
- Ansarالأنصار
- "The Helpers": the Muslims of Madinah, from the Aws and Khazraj tribes, who welcomed and sheltered the Prophet ﷺ and the emigrants from Makkah.
- Du'aدعاء
- Supplication: calling on Allah and asking Him, in any language and at any time.
- Hadithحديث
- A report of what the Prophet ﷺ said, did or approved, passed down through a chain of narrators.
- Madinahالمدينة
- The city, formerly Yathrib, to which the Prophet ﷺ migrated and where the first Muslim community was built.
- Uhudأحد
- The mountain outside Madinah where the Muslims fought Quraysh in 3 AH, and where Hamzah and many others were martyred.
Related companions
- أنس بن مالكAnas ibn MalikThe Prophet's young attendant for ten years, who reported his conduct with remarkable patience and detail.
- أبو طلحة الأنصاريAbu Talhah al-AnsariAbu Talhah al-Ansari, wealthy Ansari husband of Umm Sulaym, known for giving Bayruha in charity, shielding th…
- أم حرام بنت ملحانUmm Haram bint MilhanUmm Haram bint Milhan, Ansari hostess of the Prophet who asked for a place with the sea fighters and died in…
- عائشة بنت أبي بكرAisha bint Abi BakrWife of the Prophet and daughter of Abu Bakr, a leading scholar of the first generation who asked, learned an…
Sources and review
- Umm Sulaym bint Milhan - Wikipedia (biography, dates) (opens in a new tab)
- hadith-api, English hadith editions mirroring sunnah.com numbering and grades (opens in a new tab)
Hadith numbers follow sunnah.com. Each report links to sunnah.com, and, where the numbering matches, to al-Hadees or HadithUnlocked as well. Quran verses link to quran.com, Tafsir Ibn Kathir and Tanzil. The Arabic is taken from the hadith editions and trimmed around the quoted words, so read the full report at the source before relying on it. Grades are the ones those editions give.
This page is pending scholar review. It was compiled from public sources, and its citations were last checked on 7 October 2026. If you notice a mistake or a missing source, please tell us.